Cooking, Party Planners, Feng Shui, Magic and a Docusoap. Really? REALLY?!?!?!

A new cooking show is coming about a catering and event company who is hired by a demanding client to produce an extraordinary celebration or event. The owner and his team of party planners and chefs must dream up a theme and cuisine and tap the depths of their imagination and culinary talents! New show on Bravo!? Food Network? Travel Channel? Of course, not, silly goose! It's a new show from SyFy Channel!

In another new show, a Feng Shui master interweaves contemporary, practical solutions with ancient mystical philosophies to arrange personal homes, restaurants, stores, and even sports arenas. Fabulous new series on my wife's favorite channel HGTV? TLC? Nope. SyFy Channel, of course!!

How about a show about a magician who teams with thinkers and illusioneers, starts with doodles in a notebook, and creates breathtaking, mind-bending events for his clients. Disney Channel? Another new not-a-cartoon for Cartoon Network? Oh why bother, you already know it's a new show on SyFy Channel.

Since SyFy describes it's next new show as a "docusoap," I'm not even going to bother with it. Docusoap? Really? It is about a inventor and scientist, so I guess that might actually be relevant to the "science" part of "sci-fi." OH WAIT! Sci-Fi changed their name to SyFy, so that doesn't even work now!!!!

A game show about special-effects make-up artists might be cool and I guess might connect to science-fiction films at least, depending on what types of effects they are doing. Another 'Paranormal' show, a Big Brother type of show with folks in a biodome and an 'Untitled Artifact Search Series' round out the list of new shows.

And don't forget, SyFy is your home for.....wrestling.

Footnote: Yes, I know Sci-Fi changed to SyFy last year and declared their new genre as anything that was "imagination-based entertainment" not "science fiction," so it admittedly no longer requires any of it's programming to necessarily be science-fiction, which makes this rant pretty much null and void as far as the SyFy folks would be concerned. But I don't care. I still think it sucks that I watch way more science fiction on THISTV, AMC and even FX and SPIKE for Christ's sake than on SyFy.